well it's been a long time since I've posted anything lewd in this little LJ zone but alas the time has returned when I am performing obscene sex acts that deserve posts. Now that I have a picture up I am a little hesitant to be too explicit since I'm no longer totally anonymous but I will at least bring to you a giggle. This weekend while in Baltimore having my boob touched up by my plastic surgeon I had a little visitor come to see how my surgery went. In celebration of my avoiding death during anesthesia we decided to go out for a night on the town. Because I am not yet married and stay in my mom's house when I have visitors all visitors are required to stay in a separate bedroom from me while I share a bed with my mom. This is actually nothing unusual. Russian Jews are this way. So anyhoo, we had a couple of drinks at Club Charles, and realized that while it was early, I had taken a pain killer, and it was time to make out. I only knew of one place to go. This of course was the cemetery- the cemetery by my house. My excuse was that there are cute swans and geese that hang out there and it would be a nice way to close the night. Well, when you put two people in a dark cemetery together at night who like to make out with each other, well, things happen. For his generosity,my visitor won himself a blow job. I have to say it was pretty hot. I felt like I was in a horror movie where after having sex, someone kills you. After things calmed down a bit I happened to look up and see a police car swiftly entering the cemetery lot and freaked out. "We have to go. Get dressed." So we pull our clothes back on, hop in the front seat and proceed to drive out. We see a car drive up on the left side and pretend to be watching deer. Well to wrap up, the cops stopped us. They took our id's, I explained that my dad lives around the corner and we confessed that we hadn't been taking any drugs. I felt like I was 15 again. Not to mention I was wearing some Junior sized jeans I bought from TJ Maxx for 9.99. I think they were laughing at us.